Dragon Age: Origins and the Attack on Alistair
by QueenOfSleep
Summary: Bunch of One-shots I write when I want to with my character Shai and the rest of the party. Mostly attacking Alistairs modesty in various, funny ways ;   The title is just for fun :D
1. Mages, Bloody Mages

**This will be a bunch of One-shots I write when I want to with my character Shai and the rest of the party. Mostly attacking Alistairs modesty in various, funny ways ;)**  
**The title is just for fun :D**

A/N: Shai is an elven Mage, btw. I think it was her Zevran called "a deathly sex-goddess" first of my characters... I don't know if Beast is her dog though, I wanted to name Shai something else, but that name I'm already using in one of my original stories that I hope to publish some day, plus, in that playthrough the dog is called "Altaïr" from Assassin's Creede so... yeah...

**Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age (well except for the CD I use to play it with...).  
If I did you would be able to jump. And the elves would be tall and rule over the humans... And your character would actually talk...**

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_**Mages****, bloody Mages**_

Shai of the Grey Wardens approached her fellow traveller with a cautious glance at the boiling potion in the cauldron.

"Morrigan…"

"Yes Warden?" the apostate looked up from the potion.

"Just call me Shai, ehm, did you spike Alistair's wine at Redcliffe this afternoon?"

Morrigan got a surprised look on her face that then turned into a confused expression. "No, why would I do something like that? Would you like some tea?"

Shai glanced in Alistairs direction. He seemed to be having troubles with his armor. He, in fact, flinched every time he moved.

"Uh, nothing, I just thought that I would ask you since you're the best of us mages at Herbalism… And thanks for the offer but I'm not thirsty…" Shai quickly turned around and went to the fire in the midst of the camp.

Oghren was as usual busy being drunk, Zevran seemed to be working on a trap and Wynne was busy giving Beast a bath. Sten was fiddling with something behind his back and Leliana was off daydreaming somewhere.

"Hello Alistair." Shai sat down on the ground beside him, after looking for any traps of course, she still didn't trust Zevran.

"Oh, err… Hi." Alistairs face went bright red. He shifted uncomfortably and then flinched for no apparent reason. Shai could swear that she heard him mutter "great, just great!" under his breath but decided not to ask why.

"You've been wearing that armor the entire day you know. You could take it off."

"I uh… No, I- I think I'll keep it on. Just in case. You know, if the Darkspawn tries to attack again…" His eyes shifted around camp.

"Okay…" Shai got up and went to talk to Wynne.

"Wynne, do you know anything about Alistairs behaviour today?"

Wynne patted Beast on the head before she looked up and studied Alistair from a distance.

"Oh, I think I've seen something like this before in the Circle Tower, it was a couple of young apprentices who were, well… _curious_ of their teacher. I'm suspecting Morrigans involvement in this, have you talked to her?"

"Yes, and she denies it. Could you come up with a concoction to stop it?"

"Oh no, I'm afraid not. It would be most dangerous to try without knowing the recipe for the brew that caused this." Shai could swear that Wynne had a slight smile on her face.

"Then do you know a way to stop it?"

"I suppose it would be the same way you usually do."

Okay, _now_ she was _definitely_ smiling. "Right… Well then, I guess I'll have to take care of this…" And the she went back to Alistair.

The following day, on their way to Denerim, Alistair was in a very good mood. That was, until Zevran asked if he was tired.

Shai smiled smugly to herself. "Morrigan?" she called back and the apostate hurried forward to her.

"Yes? Is this about last night? I thought you'd like my gift."

"Do you have any of it left?"

"Why yes I do, I could always teach you how to make it if you want."

"We'll have to wait until we camp tonight. In the meantime, could you fetch Wynne? Id like to speak with both of you."

The following day, Alistair was gritting his teeth as he saw yet again how Shai talked to Wynne and Morrigan with their heads close.

He kept himself at the back of the group so that he wouldn't have to speak to anyone about his… problem…

When he saw the look Morrigan gave him in camp later that evening he held back a huff of frustration. _Mages_, he thought, _bloody Mages!_

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**Wiiee! Poor Alistair xD He doesn't know what Shai will do to him next... Mwahahahahaaaaa *chokes on laughter*  
Okay, it's not Shai that will do something to him next, but you know, the next time she does something to him...**

**Ooh I think I'll torture Cullen soon! I just have to come up with an idea, but in the meantime, I'll upload another oneshot (I can't make up my mind on how to write that word...)**


	2. Alistair Got Something Last Night

**Alistair Got Something Last Night…**

Alistair was unusually happy today. When he crawled out of the tent he stretched and gave the rest of the party a big smile.

"Good morning everybody!" Morrigan gave him a look as if she was about to be sick and then returned from the fire to her own tent.

Alistair shrugged and went to sit by their leader who was watching him with a highly amused expression.

Completely unlike his usually shy self, he leaned in and kissed her. Thoroughly. And _without_ blushing.

"Hey Sten look what I got last night!" Alistair was actually almost jumping up and down where he was sitting.

Sten almost looked scared when he hesitantly answered. "What?"

Alistair held out a cookie, and Stens stern expression faded away as he took it.

"Yep. Those two have been polishing the footstones." Oghren, somehow drunk, said with a meaning glance at Alistair and Shai.

"Wha-?" Alistair began but was interrupted by Zevran.

"Oh I heard it last night. Are you two tired perhaps? Should we leave you alone for an hour or two? Or perhaps we could ask Wynne for some drink that will replenish your energy?"

"I don't know wha-…"

Again Alistair was interrupted, but by Shai who promptly got up. "I think I'll go to speak with Morrigan…" And then she retreated with haste to talk to someone who Alistair wouldn't want to speak to.

Poor Alistair was immediately thrust into conversation with the other males at the fire, who all had various tips for him regarding his late night-activities.

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**Teehee! I is da eevul kween o' Fereldan!**

**okay, I was joking in my poor spelling/grammar in the last sentence... It's supposed to be "I am the evil queen of Ferelden"... Which I'm going to be. Some day. When my Human Noble gets there... I hate playing as anything else than a mage, but at least as a rouge you can pick locks!**


	3. Dude, What Are You Doing?

"**Dude, **_**What**_** Are You **_**Doing**_**?"**

"Cullen… Cullen…" Cullen shifted in his bed and opened his eyes slightly, only to become fully awake at the sight that met him.

_She _was standing in the doorway, lightly clad in silk with an aura of light around her. When he sat up she walked over to him with her perfect hips swaying, kissed him with intense passion and pressed herself against him.

"Cullen…" She whispered in his ear.

"Shai..." He whispered back.

"Cullen? Cullen!"

"What?" Cullen woke up with a jerk and sat up in his bed and spotted Alistair in doorway.

"Maker, Cullen I- wait…" Cullen saw how Alistairs gaze went down a bit. "Dude, _what_ are you _doing_?"

"I uh… Nothing?" Cullen felt his face go warm and knew that it was as red as his hair.

"Sure… Okay bye." Alistair fled the field and Cullen just wanted to sink down into the earth never to return.

Alistair wasn't completely sure that he wanted to know what Cullen had been doing, but he did know that it probably had something to do with that elven apprentice he constantly kept looking at whenever he had the chance. Not that Alistair thought much of it, they still hadn't taken their vows, so he wasn't going to get his roommate into trouble just over some mage. He didn't even remember her name. Sh... something. As he turned around the corner he found himself right in front of said apprentice and stuttered an apology from underneath the helmet which she either didn't hear or accepted. Alistair just kept walking.

It wasn't like he'd ever meet her again.

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**I just had this awfully awkward scene in my mind from Cullens and Alistairs time before becoming templars... Who said they never met? With Alistairs memory it's a wonder he can remember his childhood... Seriously, he forgets your name and he forgets Riordans name!**

**And au contraire mon cheri, you'll meet her. And live that dream Cullen had ;)**


End file.
